As a guy you’re expected to handle breakups like a man. But what does that actually mean? Do you pretend not to care, or do you just completely ignore the fact it happened? Most guys struggle with figuring out what to do so, us Idle Women have put together a selection of tips that’ll get you through your breakup.
We all know that breaking up isn’t ideal. A big element in your life is going to change so of course it’s going to feel weird at first. And, if all you’re hearing from your mates is to ‘man up’ or ‘just forget about it’ then the getting over process will be a lot harder than anticipated. This is why sometimes you need some advice from a women’s point of view.
There’s so much advice on the internet, and everywhere else you look, on how you should handle a break up as a guy, but does any of this advice come from women? The answer – no, not much of it does. And although we may be the opposite sex and we’re meant to be different to men, we still feel your pain. There are articles out there that slate the girl in hopes to make you feel better but in reality, hating only last for short periods of time. And we’re not being bias here either because believe me, there are a lot of posts that slate you guys too. In general you need to think about the long term, even if right now that sounds like the worst advice ever, it isn’t. Trust me.
Don’t Be Embarrassed
Showing your real emotions, whether it be sadness, anger or hatred, isn’t something you should be embarrassed of. You need to get these things out of your system to be able to move on. We all understand that as guys, showing your feelings isn’t usually something you feel comfortable with. From a young age you’re taught to ‘act like a man’ and that if you show any kind of emotion it’s a sign of weakness. Well it’s not. You can’t let it all build up inside you because at some point it’s going to have to come out and it then usually comes out as a form of anger and rage that you can’t control which isn’t what you want happening.
Knowing how to handle a break up from your girlfriend is one of those things that’s going to knock your confidence. The idea that someone doesn’t see you how they used to can sometimes make you feel physically sick. We understand this, no one wants to hear it but one of the best things to do in this scenario is to let it all out. Find someone you can talk to, a friend, sibling or even parent. Someone that’s ready to hear you get angry, sad, hopeful and a whole load more roller-coaster emotions. This is all a part of handling break ups well. Just don’t be embarrassed, it’s happened to the best of us.
Reduce Your Social Media Use
Social media is a major talking point when you break up with your partner. Handling a break up in today’s modern world means you have to face the challenges of the social world. As an outsider to a break up, even if you don’t know them that well, you can always tell if a couple are going downhill because they’ll probably start posting more pictures, writing more tweets and sharing more videos. All usually with the aim to show the other person how they feel.
This is one example of how not to handle a break up. It is understandable though as you’ve gone from speaking every day to not at all, so you want to share certain things with certain people. But remember you have your mates and family around you for that too. If you want to share that funny meme, share it with them instead. And if you’re really serious about getting over someone, find a mate that you can text or talk to every time you feel the need to contact your ex. They don’t even have to reply, it’s just so you can get it out and you’ll feel a lot more satisfied.
Take a Step Back
One of the best things to do after a break up is to take a step back. A step back from social media, the places you used to go together and anywhere else that you may think you’ll bump into them. Many people ask themselves ‘how to handle a break up with someone you love’ and one of the best solutions is to stop trying to see them, or trying to make them see you. I’m not saying you should change your routine because of them, but just by mixing it up a bit makes life a whole lot easier.
You need to explore new places without completely abandoning your old favourites. If you run in to them at the same pub every weekend, watching them out with their friends is going to make the process a lot harder. Plus, in most cases, the other person wants you to see them out enjoying themselves, even if they’re feeling the same as you. Another point I’ll make is that you shouldn’t be too obsessive over their social accounts. They’re only posting for you to see anyway so one of the best ways to handle a break up is by erasing them from view for a while. It may sound harsh but it’ll help you a lot more than you think.
Keep Yourself Busy
A big thing for those of you that have got dumped out of the blue is knowing how to handle a sudden break up. This can be a weird one because if you didn’t see it coming, you’ll have a lot of unanswered questions and probably a lot of self doubt. However, don’t fret. There are plenty of ways to fill your time, distract you and help make you feel like yourself again.
As a guy, handling a breakup isn’t the easiest thing to do. You’re probably not going to go through an entire tub of ice cream while pouring you heart out to the Bridget Jones movie. Neither are you going to spend hours on the phone to your mates talking your feelings. Men vs women handling break ups are usually pretty different but, one mutual past time is to keep yourself busy. You can do this alone, 0r with your mates. You want distractions, and you want to keep your mind off things, and the best way to do this is by doing things you enjoy.
One thing to remember for when it comes to how to handle a break up maturely, is that even though filling your time is good. You shouldn’t go over the top because when you do find yourself alone, it’ll feel 10x worse. This brings us on to our next point.
Don’t Be Afraid to Be by Yourself
The thought of being alone in your time of need doesn’t quite sound appealing in any way. But, the advice I’ll give you is that you shouldn’t be afraid to be by yourself. Knowing how to be single and how to live life on your own is something that I believe everyone should know. You can’t get through life always replying on someone else. You go from your parents to your partner and then even to your kids. You need some time to do what you want, even if it is just sitting in watching your favourite movies on a Saturday night. You don’t need other people to make you feel worthwhile all the time.
Forget About Nostalgia
Knowing how to handle a break up after a long term relationship when all you can think about is what a great time you had is going to be hard. You’re going to remember all the good things, and you’re going to miss them. That’s understandable. And there’s really no need to try and forget about them because in the long run, you’ll be glad it all happened.
But, of course you can’t just think of the best memories because it’ll make it twice as hard to get over them. So, as the relationship has ended, there must have been things that went wrong and things that annoyed you. So when you start to think about how good the relationship was, take a minute to reevaluate why you broke up in the first place. Once you start thinking about why and how it all went wrong, you’ll come to realise that actually, your decision to split is the better one. This is easier said than done but as time goes on, everything starts to get easier and all of those nostalgic memories won’t even cross your mind.
Look After Yourself
One final point to make is that even though you may think that having more than your usual amount of drinks will make you forget the break up pain, in reality all you’re going to do is make yourself feel a lot worse. You need to look after your body. Maybe this is the excuse for you to join a gym or start up a new workout programme. It’s a way to let out your anger and stress that gives you great benefits at the same time. You’ll be keeping yourself occupied while also working on bettering yourself. It doesn’t have to be gym or fitness related either, you can do something that you’ve always wanted to do. Push yourself in a way that only you can, and if you’ve nailed this you’ll be on the right track.
On That Note
How to handle break ups for guys can be confusing and pretty lonely. It’s different for men as your break up and advice isn’t really a go to subject to talk about with your mates. But forget all of that, your closest pals should understanding and if you let out how you feel, you’ll end up feeling a whole lot better. Whether you want to talk about it, or you want to focus on bettering yourself, doing something about it and not keeping it all in your head is the best way to handle a break up.