In theory this is a super cute look. In reality, sweaty feet equal smelly feet. Please invest in invisible socks. Disclaimer: On first glance, your girlfriend may be repulsed by these as they look like sawn off tights. Reassure her that footwear that looks a tad like hosiery is better than the wrath of the cheesy pinkies.
2. The Pedal Pusher
Why would any man think that a trouser that stops an inch below the knee is a good idea? There is nothing attractive about your leg hair visibly standing to attention any time a slight draft comes in. If you insist on flashing those newly gym-created calves, then opt for a tailored short instead. Less mortifying for her, more visually acceptable for you.
3. Flower Power
Okay, listen up, and listen good! A floral shirt is absolutely fine, and the thought of a flowery tie and sock combo doesn’t completely freak me out. But a full on, full bloom co-ord is the quickest and most painful route to Singlesville. Keep the carnations to outfit accents instead of the entire language, and you won’t be lonely this Christmas. Tip: The easiest way to partake in a little “Flower Power” is to buy your Mrs an unexpected (expensive) bouquet.
4. Bucket Hats
Who brought these back? What do you mean they never left?! They most certainly did and I can assure you it was with good reason. If Nick Cannon can cover up that 38inch “Mariah” tattoo then you can definitely hide your bad hair days in a more stylish way, than the LL Cool J bucket hat. A wide brim trilby is equal parts sexy and cool, add it to your Christmas List…NOW!
Yes I do mean those jackets that make that swishy noise when you walk! Please (actually begging now) leave this monstrosity in the deepest, darkest parts of your wardrobe until you’re on a paintballing trip with the lads. That way, your girlfriend can feel complete joy as she looks you in the eye (probably holding back tears) to tell you the acid acrylic stains won’t come out in the wash and the swisher will have to go in the bin. Tip: Hooded parkas are always a good idea, brave the force of the wind in one of those instead.