Love it or hate it, the soppiest event in the calendar has come round again. Whether you’re drunk in love, single, widowed or stuck in a loveless marriage, Valentine’s is one of those occasions where you have to do something. But what? Luckily, Wriggle have devised a foolproof list of activities that will cater for everyone.
For the Valentine’s Anarchist
Where? The Myddleton Arms, N1
When? 14th Feb, 7pm.
What becomes of the broken hearted? They head to The Myddleton Arms. DJ Dude, Where’s My Girlfriend? will be hitting the wheels of steel at The Myd to take you through a musical journey into romantic misery. House rules apply: No love songs. No handholding. No Cooing. No Wooing.
For Those Who Want/Need a Laugh
Where? The Sexy Valentine’s Show at The Invisible Dot, N1
When? 13th & 14th February
London’s finest comedy venue is hosting a two-day, romantic extravaganza featuring some of the best established and up-and-coming comics on the circuit. This year’s titillating acts include Luke McQueen, Mike Wozniak, Adam Hess, Lazy Susan and Mae Martin. A perfect night out for comedy-loving couples or those who just need to laugh it off.
For Sexual Education
Where? The Wellcome Collection: The Institute of Sexology, NW1
The Institute of Sexology attempt to explain and examine the story of the study of sex and the ever-changing attitudes and taboos that go along with it. For those looking for a more intellectually stimulating way to spend their Valentine’s day, this groundbreaking exhibition is a perfect way to take an slightly more academic look at the birds and the bees.
Balls to Valentine’s Day!
Where? Bounce, EC1N
When? 14th February
Ping-Pong purveyors, Bounce are teaming up with Tinder to host an Anti-Valentine’s day party to remember. Cutesy clichés are strictly prohibited for this evening of games, dancing and doubles ping-pong that will hopefully help you find a game, set and match.
To Try Powdered Libido and Liquid Polygamy
Where? Loves Company, E1
When? 13th February
2014 not been your year? East London cocktail joint, Loves Company, will be paying tribute to those of us who’ve been unlucky in love. The night kicks off with ‘unlucky hour’, in which free drinks can be won by rolling lower than a three, followed by an evening of drinking, dancing and piñatas.
The Healthy Option
Where? Celestine Eleven, EC2
When? 14th February, 7.30pm
For those who want to be kind to their bodies over Valentine’s weekend, Secret Yoga Club are hosting a special hour-long class, followed by a special Valentine’s supper in a beautiful Shoreditch boutique. The seasonal feast will be accompanied by a selection of handpicked, naturally made wines.
For the Beer Drinkers
Where? White Hart Brew Pub, E1
When? All weekend!
Couldn’t give a naked Cupid’s arse about Valentine’s day? Well now’s the time for beer, not champagne. The White Hart Brew Pub in Whitechapel is one of our favourite craft breweries. Plus the food is delicious. Work your way through their roster of very special beers.
For Those Who Like to Play it Cool
Where? Cool Cats Café, SE5
When? 14th Feb, email to book.
Cool Cats’ Café is certainly cool, but more than just a café. Despite its modest moniker, this hip hideaway in Camberwell serves up some of the finest food in the area, and will be providing a special 3-course menu this weekend for all the hopeful lovers and hopeless romantics out there.
For Nordic-loving Singletons
Where? M&M Supper Club, E20
When? 14th February, 8pm
If you’re looking for love this Valentine’s day, acclaimed Nordic supper club, M&M are hosting an sumptuous singles night of Scandi-shenanigans. Their conversation-starting Valentine’s menu will feature Nordic-inspired dishes, with a twist from the land of passion - Italy.
For the Cynics
Where? The Bad, The Sad & The Broken Hearted - Soho Theatre, W1
When? 15th February, 8pm
A self-styled ‘remedy’ to Valentine’s Day, Elena Pavli’s twist on the Greek tragedy sees our heroine, Missy, and her chorus of prostitutes spout wisdoms old and new as they battle love, loss and loneliness in the Wild West. So, a bit like London’s dating scene, really.