All good things come to an end, right? But what about when it comes to ending a relationship - is there any good way to do this? Guys, if you're in a dead-end relationship and you're looking for a way out, read this guide to learn how to at least do it like a gent.
If you're looking for a nice way to end your relationship, to put it frankly, you'll be looking for a long time - there isn't one. No girl will take being broken up with easily, and if she does, she's a good actress. If ending your relationship is something you've been pondering on for while, no more excuses, you need to get it done. If you're going to do this, you'll need to soften the blow, so we've come up with a few ways to end a relationship like a gentleman.
The Main Rules of Breaking Up with Somone
These rules for breaking up with someone shouldn't have to be outlined, but we're going to outline them regardless. If you follow these simple tricks, you're one step closer to being a dumping gentleman.
Don't do it over text: If you're going to end a relationship, one of the biggest unspoken rules is to have the balls to do it face to face. A long distance relationship is the only exception to this. Please, don't be that guy.
Be nice: Easier said than done. In some situations, your inner Satan might slip out, however, you should try really hard to keep it in. As hard as it might be, you need to remain level headed and try not make the scenario worse by being horrible.
Keep your cool: Staying level-headed is a must when ending a relationship. Keep your cool, even if (or when) things get heated. Having a row over a breakup is not the way to go.
Don't be blunt: For god sake, don't just come out and say it. Being blunt might seem like the easiest way to get it done with, but it's most certainly not the gentleman way. Don't veer too far in the other direction and beat around the bush, either. Approach the topic of relationship problems, explain a few reasons and then cut to the chase.
How to End a Casual Relationship
Let's start with something a little more light-hearted: How to end a casual relationship. What is a casual relationship, we hear you ask? A casual relationship is when you're 'seeing someone', which is more than merely 'talking to someone' but not as much as 'going out with someone'. Still with us?
Ending a casual relationship is a lot easier than ending a full-on relationship, but it's still no easy task. The trick to this is knowing when to end a relationship - timing is everything. For example, if you have just slept with the person you intend on breaking up with, leave it a few days at least. If you end it with them straight after... intercourse... it will simply make the other person feel shit about themselves - not a very gentlemanly thing to do.
Timing is also doing it when they are in a good mood. Knocking someone when they're already down won't spare them the pain, it will just intensify it. If you catch them in a good mood (not too much of a good mood), you're more likely to get a better, or more rational, response than if they're already down in the dumps (pun intended).
Ending a Long Distance Relationship
This is, by our books, the second easiest break up you'll ever have to do. Our reasoning behind this is that this is the only situation in which you could possibly get away with not having to do it face to face. If you only see each other once in a few months, or even more frequently but it's a lengthy or expensive journey to get there, we will allow you to end the relationship from the comfort of your own home. This doesn't mean you can be any less insensitive - it does mean that you can pretend, though.
If you want to be a real man, then the closest you'll get to face to face is Facetime (or skype). Pick a time to do this when it both suits you, so that the conversation doesn't have to be rushed. As you're not doing this face to face, there will be that lack of physical emotion (the consoling hug etc), therefore, you will have to make up for this by being extra sympathetic and empathetic to them and the situation. Putting someone else's feeling above yours is a big part of trying to be a man, especially when you're breaking up with them.
How to End a Long-term Relationship
Now for the hardest one: How to end a long-term relationship. This is a tricky one to address, and there is no easy handbook on how to end it. Since the relationship is long-term, it might be a good idea to try to address the issues before you come to ending the relationship entirely. This can also let your partner know that you feel there are issues and flag the fact that you are willing to work on those before you take any drastic measures. This is a gentlemanly thing to do, as it makes it evident that their feelings are important and you are not going to make any rash decisions based on your own feelings alone - a relationship is a two-way deal, after all.
We suggest sitting down with your partner and explaining how you feel there are some problems. They might be able to shed some light on the situation from a different perspective, and they might even agree with you on the issues you have drawn to attention. If your partner is not one who deals well with confrontation (may the Lord help you), perhaps seek some relationship advice from a friend first. Ask a friend who is mutual and level-headed to get the best advice. Don't be afraid to approach someone close to you and admit 'I need help in my relationship' - it's a perfectly normal thing to seek the help of others from the outside looking in, and sometimes some girlfriend advice is exactly what you'll need to be able to make a clearer, more informed decision.
If you address the issues or you seek advice and you're still not able to overcome the problems, it's probably time to end the relationship. This, however, should now be a lot easier because it won't be out of the blue, and if you have tried to improve the problems and it still doesn't get better, it's much more likely to be an agreement on the break-up.
A mutual break-up is the best kind and the kind of break-up where you will be a real gentleman. If you are both mature, you will be able to go separate ways having had a good time together, despite the ending not being the best relationship towards the end.
How to End a Relationship like a Gentleman
- Follow the unspoken rules of breaking up with someone, no matter what the situation is. These rules are to do it face to face, to be nice (or try to), to keep your cool and not to be blunt or rude.
- A causal relationship is the easiest to end. Make sure you pick a good time to do this so you cause as little harm as possible.
- A long distance relationship is probably the only time where you can get away with dumping someone over the phone. To be a gent, at least use Facetime (or skype).
- When ending a long-term relationship, always try to address and resolve the issues before you resort to breaking up. This will let the other person know that you have considered their feelings and not made any rash, selfish decisions.
On That Note
Breaking up with someone is never going to be easy, but if you're going to do it, it's better to consider the other person's feelings and try to be a gent about it. Sometimes this will work, and sometimes it won't, but it's worth the shot, right? We always suggest you try to address any issues before you end a long-term relationship, however, sometimes it's just got to be done. Whatever your situation, make sure you keep to the unspoken rules of breaking up with someone to minimise the damage. We hope this guide helps you out with your breakup fears and makes it that little bit easier to address. Wishing you the best of luck!